Gentrification, Topgolf, and Satan. Yes, Satan.

Sensing weakness in S.C. Attorney General Alan Wilson, who is wrapped up in the Quinn Statehouse corruption scandal, Greenville Attorney William Herlong has announced he’ll challenge the current AG in the 2018 Republican primary for the state’s top lawman.

According to the Greenville News, Herlong “has taken out a $200,000 loan and contributed $24,000 of his own money to his campaign, while Wilson has slightly more than $1 million in campaign cash on hand.”

The Upstate candidate then went on to say, “What does it say that an attorney general is sitting on $1 million? Why would people give $1 million to an attorney general other than to buy influence?”

We’ll take that to mean Herlong has no intention of raising campaign funds beyond his initial $224,000 investment.

Right?

Right?!

Sigh.

Well, it looks like Topgolf is indeed coming to Greenville. Months ago, plans were posted on the Greenville County website of what appeared to be the proposed blueprint for the swingers’ park, but after local media reported it, the Dallas-based biz balked, saying the deal wasn’t done yet. But now, it appears that plans are moving forward. Fore!

Editor’s note: Topgolf recently began expanding into Detroit, Cleveland, and Myrtle Beach, with rumors they’re eyeing a spot in the San Francisco Bay area.

The newsletter GVLtoday is hoping to launch its fourth offshoot, AVLtoday, in February in, well, Asheville, N.C. Owned by 6AM City LLC (with ties to the Community Journals family, aka Greenville Journal, Upstate Business Journal, etc.), the newsletter previously spawned a successful Columbia franchise, COLAtoday.  As for their outpost in Charleston, CHStoday, it appears to still be having trouble getting off the ground despite being announced a year ago (see screen cap below).  

Screenshot 2018-01-08 at 6.30.37 PMI know you say you’re OK, but are you sure? Because you don’t look it.Let me try another link, this one straight from the GVLtoday. Homepage.

Screenshot 2018-01-09 at 9.12.52 AM

Oh, bless their hearts.

Greenville early-morning and late-night fave Sully’s Steamers is opening up a string of new locations. Sadly, not a single one of them is Greenville County. Instead, the home of the pippin’ hot steamed bagel is opening restaurants in Clemson, Charleston, and Columbia, as well as Athens, Ga.

Nikki Haley is apparently Satan. I didn’t say that. Michael Wolff did. In his hilarious White House satire, “Fire and Fury.”

What’s that? It’s not a satire.

Really?

Man, we’re up shit’s creek.

Gentrification is not a four-letter word. It’s 14-letter one. And it can be good or bad. Either way, the next phase of gentrification in West Greenville looks as if it’s going to revolve around bulldozing old houses and building new ones. One need only to drive down Pendleton Street through the heart of the Village of WG and see that.

Now word has come out that a developer is proposing a three-lot subdivision on Douthit Street.

If this pace of knock over-and-replace continues, the Village won’t just be kicking out longtime residents, they’ll be kicking out the gentrifying bohos, young pros, and artists that helped make the area hip.

Meet Republican Mike Burns, S.C. Statehouse representative for Travelers Rest. Mike hates porn, wants “In God We Trust” displayed in all Palmetto State classrooms, and wishes the state would erect a monument to all the imaginary African-American men who fought for the Confederacy — psst , they’re weren’t any (at least who did so willingly). He’s running unopposed.

Why?

No, seriously, why?

Amazing Race fans, listen up. Your favorite host is coming to town.

***

Sly devils say sly things. Or at least they think they’re saying sly things. Especially when they’re trying to paint themselves as outsiders.

Take William Herlong for instance. He’s no malevolent force, mind you — heck, he’s probably a right swell guy, a real Mr. Smith Goes to Colatown who wants to clean up corruption at the Statehouse. And boy oh boy, does it need cleaning up.

He knows what he’s saying when he bashes Alan Wilson’s $1 million war chest.

More importantly, he knows what you think he’s saying, namely that he’s not going to play the same bobbing for apples money grab that every politician does. Nope.

Money buys influence, and influence breeds corruption. But not Herlong.

He’s a different man, a different bred.

He looks at Wilson campaign coffers and says, “Millions, I don’t need no stinkin’ millions.”

Except when he does.

Screenshot 2018-01-09 at 9.21.02 AM

Right now, Herlong wants a handout. From you and me and, hell, probably even those same corrupt fat cats who helped get Alan Wilson elected.

And there’s nothing wrong with that.

This is how campaigns are run. This is how our Democracy works. We can bitch and moan about it all we like. But it’s not going to change.

Anybody that tells you otherwise is just trying to pull a fast one on you. –Wyatt Duvall

 

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